A slightly different version of this post first appeared in my old blog last May 7, 2009.
Spoilers for what does NOT happen in X-Men Origins: Wolverine.
Adam and I were talking about X-Men Origins: Wolverine and we concluded we were both disappointed in the movie, but for different reasons. Adam wanted blood and gore because how can Wolverine use his lethal claws without spilling a drop of blood? It isn’t reasonable.
As for myself, I wanted a Sabretooth that had fur and grunted like a crazed animal. I wanted a Gambit with a decent Cajun accent. But most of all, I wanted some other plot twist for Wolvie to lose his memory, ugh, because his mysterious past was an epic thing when I was reading the comics back in the ’90s.
Anyway, Adam also pointed out that the movie proves beyond reasonable doubt that Wolverine really isn’t Canadian. I asked him to come up with ten reasons. Here they are:
1. Wolverine was born before Canada was a full-fledged country.
2. Canadians invented peacekeeping; Wolvie keeps fighting in American wars.
3. Wolvie doesn’t sit around all day watching hockey and drinking beers.
4. Can Wolvie don a pair of ice skates?
5. He is never shown having a double-double.
6. He never makes a patriotic stop at Tim Horton’s.
7. He doesn’t use the metric system.
8. He hates a lot of people but doesn’t seem to hate Americans in particular.
9. None of his X-Men costumes are plaid.
10. Wolvie never wears a maple leaf toque.
Regarding the last item, I decided to rectify this matter immediately. See how much better Logan looks with the right headgear?